"The rain here isn't bad at all. It's just drizzles sometimes. And the summers are GREAT!"
Translation: It is necessary to repeat this to yourself, and others, so often that you start to actually believe it. It's the only way to survive the eight months of constant gray we call fall, winter, and most of spring until Seattle's actually amazing summer gets here.
"I'll have a Rainier, please"
Translation: I'm too cool to admit I'm really just drinking a PBR.
"I can't believe how bad traffic is"
Translation: I'm oblivious to the deleterious effect my decision to exit 520 onto I-South and then cross all four lanes in time to get off at Mercer is having on traffic for miles behind me. Miles. Later I will probably take a left off Denny or do one of these other incredibly stupid things.
"I never go to the Eastside anymore"
Translation: I'm too cheap to pay the toll on 520, besides I can just take 90. But, um, like I said, it's not like I ever go over there to eat at Chick-fil-A, or The Hollywood Tavern, or anything else.