Congratulations, America: You've almost survived Election Season 2016. Sure, you stopped having sex entirely. You gave up porn. You even think "death by meteorite" is a better option than either candidate. But it's finally coming to an end. To help you safely get off this celibacy-inducing campaign trail, we dug up the answers to every thing you need to know to cast your vote tomorrow… and then find your way to a good cocktail that can help you forget this election season ever happened.
Am I registered?
Don't needlessly waste your valuable morning coffee time at the polls, only to find out you didn't actually remember to register. Check your registration status in advance. Like, now. Thankfully DC makes it easy: Just check your voter registration online.
If you're not registered, well, it's actually not too late. You can register at the polls today if you bring a government-issued photo ID, current utility bill, bank statement, paycheck, or government check that displays your name and address.
Where is my polling location?
Drop in your address to check where to cast your ballot tomorrow.
What do I need to bring to vote?
If you've voted in DC before, don't worry about it: No ID is required. If it's your first time or you registered by mail, bring a government-issued photo ID or a government document, like a bank statement or utility bill, that has your name and address on it.
When does my poll open?
If you're feeling extra patriotic, you can cast a vote at 7am and be in one of Washington, DC's best coffee shops by 7:17am.
When does my poll close?
If your AM political commitments are limited to rewatching Alec Baldwin nail his Trump impressions, don't worry: You have until 8pm to vote. Grab a drink afterwards. You deserve it after this election season.