Blacktooth

True entrepreneurs know the best way to start an empire is through ethically dubious means, like the Owens Valley-raping founders of Los Angeles, and the Hunt family, whose land-swindling polygamist fortune was parlayed into the greatest prize of them all...the Kansas City Chiefs. Following suit just to clothe your torso, Blacktooth.

Inspired by a happily scattershot range of themes from rock, to humor, to politics, Black started as a small-batch tee operation in the founder's shed, fueled by $600 raised selling bootleg concert vids on eBay, and admirably not spent on pot to smoke in said shed. The contraband theme rears its head in designs like a soft pack of cigarettes sporting your choice of Russian hammer & sickle or an evergreen tree, a mess of crumpled beer cans, the block-lettered phrase "Legalize Cocaine", and a double cheeseburger, which will nobody will be hungry for after we legalize cocaine. To counter such wanton vices, there's photo images of a Ray Ban'd and bullhorn'd policeman sitting authoritatively on his motorcycle; a mess of firearms (AKs, glocks, revolvers) and bullets, available on a white background or as a negative image on a black tee; and a shirtless waif rocking a handkerchief mask, an army helmet w/ Mickey Mouse ears, and bandoliers, called "Love Kills", even though everyone knows love doesn't kill people, topless women draped in hundreds of bullets kill people.

Straying from shirts, a trio of posters pimping art from the tees, a white & black checkered cotton neck scarf, and a pair of cotton/spandex skinny jeans called the Dylan, which'll display a throbbing outline of the greatest prize of them all. That's right: the Kansas City Chiefs.