There's no more beautiful way to memorialize the dead than through music -- just think back to Puff Daddy's "I'll be Missing You", which in heartrending fashion honored Biggie Smalls' lifelong ambition to be eternally associated with Sting and his crazily long sexings. Get yourself musically remembered -- in a terrifyingly literal manner -- with And Vinyly.
The quirkily macabre vision of a UK music producer who realized he "might not be immortal" after his mother started working at a mortuary, Vinyly allows those shuffling off the mortal coil to have their ashes pressed into an actual, playable record, simultaneously putting your oeuvre in the death metal and soul categories.
How the bizarre process works: ashes are sprinkled by a person of your choosing, and baked onto a 24-minute disk, which can either be left as simple pops and crackles ("the minimal approach"), or grooved to play your last will & testament, a favorite song, or a personal message in your voice -- or if your favorite song is "Stairway", both of those last two.
Satan is sweet. To make things even more (formerly) you, you can have a tribute song penned by in-house bands House of Fix and Daftwerk (with full input concerning lyrics, etc), and commission an album cover from National Portrait Gallery resident dauber James Hague, who'll mix your ashes into the paint -- the logically ironic conclusion to all those life-drawing classes
The average ash-load can be spread out to thirty records, which, if you so desire, can even be sold under the in-house R.I.V. (Rest In Vinyl) label at stores around the world -- so now with every remaining breath you take, you can be anticipating the dozens of listeners your posthumous p-ditty will be hypnotizing.