The Bathroom Truck

The proliferation of food trucks has done an excellent job satisfying the pressing need you felt in your belly, but what has it ever done for the pressing need you're now feeling in your bowels? Solving that problem in style, the Bathroom Truck, open for "business" today.Paid for entirely by the non-profit Coalition of Food Trucks (CFT) to address the growing sanitation concern, The Bathroom Truck's an upscale rolling john that Twitter-stalks some of the top trucks (FrySmith, Kogi, Nom Nom, etc) to determine where it can be most useful, i.e., wherever there's a flashmob doing the pee-pee dance. To mirror the upscale nature of the eating truck trend, the single user interior's lushly decked out: marble walls, a flush-less urinal, a white faux-leather, anti-bacterial seat cover padded w/ extra-comfy memory foam (think Tempur-Pedic for your buns), max-ply Charmin paper, and even a bidet, in case Zach Galifianakis swings by. Of course, there's an in-cart bathroom attendant, Hank, who's stocked with all the standard goodies, including both Wrigley's Spearmint and Extra Winterfresh gum; Lifesavers in mixed-fruit, tropical, and butter rum; Vidal Sassoon gel and Crew medium-hold forming cream; and hella scents to cover up your #2's, including Hugo Boss, Coolwater, Abercrombie Woods, and even BOD Man -- because 12 yr olds use food trucks, too. As the Bathroom Truck ramps up, they're holding off on Twitter and the deluge of... deluges that would bring in favor of tracking via email -- fulfilling another one of your pressing needs: people acknowledging you're alive.