In the wild, animals urinate to attract nearby potential mates, but when men try the same, they generally end up spending several humiliating hours with...inmates. Whip out your cell instead, with BluePont.
From a local online videogame vet, BluePont's a dating service that uses cells to alert potential mates to your presence, and vice versa -- a set-up developed to "make the real world less virtual", and even more fraught with penicillin. Just sign up and input your essentials (name/age/sex/"looking for"), optionals (pic, employment, etc), and cell #; then turn your phone into a bootie hub by downloading BP's software, which'll run in the background, updating every five minutes with info gleaned from cell towers/your phone's internal GPS. Anytime you're within a mile of a romantic match, BP'll automatically text you a message with your potential date's stats, with whom you can communicate through their server to set up a face-to-face; naturally, the ladies can do the same, but don't hold your breath, BedWetter52.
Right now, BP only supports BlackBerrys, but other phones are coming soon -- at which point, multiple guys might end up descending on the same potential mate, and you'll be forced to once again tempt incarceration.