B**bs & Blood Film Fest

Film festivals are usually so boring; with their arty, depressing selections, it's all you can do not to shout "How about some b**bs and/or some blood, Noah Baumbach?" Heeding your silent pleas, Noah Baumbach the B**bs & Blood Film Festival, this weekend at the New Beverly.

Just like it sounds, B&B's a three-night, two-day long ode to the best things about R-rated movies other than adult situations, with each night specifically themed and featuring not just movies but celebrity guests, live comedy, and a Rat pack-themed burlesque show backed by a band called The Cinnamon Sextet -- yeah, right Spice Girls, who're you trying to fool? The three nights:

Fri: "Outlaw Women" themed, w/ screenings of classic 70s-era 35mm girl biker/prison/gang movies, as well as the luchadore saga The Curious Happenings of George Warrior, an unrated showing of the alt-nudity-laden Suicide Girls Must Die, and the debut of the website P**nioke, which promises to virtually put users in 70s adult films, but not in 70s adults, 'cause that would be the film Cocoon.

Sat: Three different screening series throughout the day, starting w/ Girls Vs Monsterz (including the uncut version of 2010's Mega Piranha), then continuing w/ the Russ Meyer tribute Beyond the Valley of the B**bs, and closing w/ the self-explanatory double feature Total F*&ing Japanese Insanity, aka Japan.

Sun: Another triple-screening day, w/ almost everything geared towards chicks who dig chicks, including the blood-and-other-things-sucking Vampyres, the locally-minded Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers, and S&M Hunter, subtitled: Late Night with Charlie Sheen.

In addition, Fri & Sat boast open-bar afterparties/meet & greets w/ the films' stars (including FOB Japanese starlets and Mega Pirahna's Barry Williams, aka Greg Brady), and the whole thing's also got a best-of contest, with categories like "Psychotronic Humanitarian of the Year" and the audience-choice "Best of the Fest" -- a tough call, though it'll be all you can do not to shout "How about Beyond the Valley of the B**bs? And/or the Charlie Sheen one, Noah Baumbach?"