A fancy theater for the film connoisseur

Upgrades can drastically improve your life, like flying first class, staying in a luxury suite, or adding caramelized onions to everything. Caramelized onioning your movie watching experience, Gold Class Cinemas

Opening tomorrow, GC is an ultra-luxury cinema, with intimate theaters (40 or fewer seats each) decked out with cushy, reclining chairs, 8ft of legroom between rows, and, most importantly, top-notch food and cocktails both available in an outside lounge or in-theater, delivered via a "service" button by a black-clad wait-staff so stealthy, you'll think you're watching Ninja Assassin even though you're better than that. Food's miles above standard popcorn-and-hot-dog fare, with options including crisp Maine lobster rolls w/ sweet Thai chili sauce and lemon aioli, house made chips with bleu cheese fondue, and a Waygu burger duo w/ applewood-smoked bacon and onion rings on a brioche bun, all of which are made specifically to be utensil-less, so you can easily eat with your hands/off your shirt. As far as drinks go, they've got a slew of beers (Allagash White, Duvel), as well as imported wines and specialty cocktails like the "Red Rum" (tequila, spiced rum, grenadine, cranberry juice, Sprite, and soda), the "Perfect Palmer" (vodka/pomegranate liquor/sweet tea/lemonade) and the Sapphire/Canton/strawberry/sour/club soda "Ginger Collins", which you'd totally love to kick if everyone wasn't all freaking out about it.

Gold Class also offers a $40 dinner-and-a-movie prix fixe, with the first slate of films including 2012, The Men Who Stare At Goats, and Twilight: New Moon, which can't drastically improve your life, because there's even less sex than in yours.