Failing to strike a balance in life can lead to soul-crushing disappointment -- for instance, give your girlfriend love without lust, and she'll leave you for a suave, open-shirted gigolo; give lust without love, and she'll leave you for a tender, open-shirted gigolo. Like you, tequila must also strike a balance between smoothness and edge: Hornitos Tequila
Hornitos(TM) Tequila is the precocious offspring of the Sauza® family -- generations of fathers, sons, grandsons, and the occasional cousin, all practicing the agave arts at the same Jalisco distillery since 1873. A true Renaissance Booze, it comes in three different varieties -- each nuanced enough to soothe all six of your moods (including all four "angers"). The goods:
Añejo Aged for 12+ months in American oak barrels, the amber Añejo starts with the sweet taste of brown sugar, then fades to soft oak and clean agave -- mellow enough for sipping...as you play Uno with a rattlesnake.
Reposado: Vat-aged for two months, with a background taste of herbs, cooked agave, and mild white pepper, Hornitos suggests taking it down in celebratory fashion, then chasing with Sangrita (as opposed to "in desultory fashion, chased with a sense of inferiority").
Plata: Spicy with a muted fruitiness, Plata slips beautifully into cocktails, but provides just enough agave kick that you'll always remember you're drinking tequila. Unfortunately, Plata won't help you remember the name of the person you're talking to, or the capital of Missouri.
Whichever you go with, you'll be getting 100% pure agave, a plant that, despite its close relationship to the lily, can survive in sandy soil at 1,500 meters elevation -- just the sort of tender/tough balance your girlfriend would pay handsomely for.