From summer camp to gainful employment, nothing sucks like having friends tell rapturous tales of amazing experiences you missed out on. Steal your desert-bound peeps' thunder with this epic Coachella playlist: rarefied tunes from the best Fest artists, compiled by Sunday night's closing act, Justice.
Prince, "Let's Work": This year's surprise headliner's 1981 funk jam should be disturbingly familiar, since the beat matches the fatherly thrusts that resulted in you.
SebastiAn, "Momy": This full-throttle instrumental electro track is named for either SebastiAn's pet name for his mother, or his pet name for his favorite museum.
MGMT, "Electric Feel": Following up the inescapable "Time To Pretend", the Brooklyn band delivers a bass-grooved novelty popper every bit as addictive as "The Electric Slide", "Electric Avenue", or even "Electric Youth" (Debbie Gibson? No? Guess it wasn't that addictive after all).
Midnight Juggernauts, "Shadows": Hand-clappy, breathily vocal'd synthtronica from the land that once vomited up Midnight Oil.
Surkin, "Next of Kin": This Parisian house producer's only 20 years old -- too young to drink beer in the States, but old enough to tell you loudly about how he can drink beer at home.
The Teenagers, "Starlett Johansson": Guitar-rocking, stalkerific ode to the lovely and talented comedian Jake Johannsen.
Chromeo, "Fancy Footwork": Ironic '80s-ish dance-rock from a duo composed of an Israeli and Palestinian, now relocated to an even grizzlier hellhole of separatism: Montreal.
Busy P f. Murs, "To Protect and Entertain": A hip-hop ode to LA that name-checks everything from Amoeba Records to Cinespace to Coachella founder Paul Tollett. Well, Murs, at least you didn't have to do his laundry.
Justice, "Phantom Pt II (Boyz Noise Remix)": For their own offering, Justice chose a remix from fellow Coachellists Boyz Noise, who gave the song their signature treatment: the sounds of breathless masturbation and kickball.
Kavinsky, "Testarossa Autodrive": Propellant, beat-driven electro that'll sound so great in your Kia Spectra, people will mistake it for a Kia Amanti.