Put mummy shoes on your feet

If ancient man's taught us anything, it's that he is intuitive, resourceful and basically Brendon Fraser. And now he's helping pimp out your feet, with OeTZI3300

OeTZI3300's an annoyingly named, thoroughly unique shoe brand, developed by a former top guy at K-Swiss based on details in a NYT article about a mummified pair of shoes found on an early man whose clothed remains had been preserved thanks to his being stuck for many centuries in a glacier -- where was "global warming" when he needed it? To replicate the shoes' prescient prehistoric functionality, the designer's made modern replications of key details: early shoes have a natural fiber lining for comfort and warmth, so the OE's have an inner-layer of breathable lycra; early ones had a durable, permeable footbed from being boiled in deer blood, while the new ones achieve the same function via a cork footbed, which also molds ergonomically to your feet, and doesn't result in you being chased by dogs. The shoes overall aesthetic is of a low-top combo sneaker/sandal hybrid, with a laced-up top and a velcro strap at the bottom to adjust width; the kicks are available in a variety of colors in high-end suede (earth, shale, forest, sand), while full-grain leather comes in either black or white, although it wouldn't have mattered to Michael Jackson.

Though they've only got the one design now, the brand'll expand in the spring, with new materials (including canvas) and forthcoming designs including hi-tops and clogs, because there's no end to what we can learn from The Mummy.