The Samsung Behold II
This V-Day, skip the traditional presents -- chocolate, flowers, a note reading "I'm sorry this is too much for me but maybe in a few years I'll deserve someone like you" -- and go with a can't miss gift: the Samsung Behold II.
Text, video, and instant messaging, 5 megapixel camera, video capture/playback, music player, high resolution screens, touch screen with on-screen keyboard, real web browsing with Wi-Fi, photo caller ID, micro SD memory slot, built-in GPS, and e-mail, instant, and picture messaging, so you can constantly remind her how handsome you think you are.
From February 12-15, you can snag the Behold II at a pleasingly sensuous price ($79.99 after instant rebate with a 2-year contract; $149.99 w/ same deal after the 15th). Use the extra money on the therapy that'll get you to a more mature emotional plain -- or, more satisfyingly, on sweet, sweet chocolate.