A Caribbean excursion's a glorified excuse to bask in the sun, spark up, and listen to that one reggae song. Embrace that wondrous inevitability at the Marley Resort & Spa, now accepting reservations.
The Marley's online debut falls on what would've been Bob's 62nd birthday, had the CIA not killed him with cancer. Housed in the dreadlocked Rasta's former summer retreat, this world-class resort (opening 6/1) includes amenities like freeform pools, "tropical rain" showers, and a Dollywoodish memorabilia museum, as well as 16 Afro-Caribbean-themed suites. Each features a flat-screen TV and a Bose sound system and is named for a Marley song title, ranging from the blandly optimistic "Nice Time" to "Kinky Reggae" -- for the traveler who deliberates between smoking hemp and tightly binding his balls with it.
When glass-eyed relaxation becomes too exhausting, the Marley's beachside spa/hut offers traditional regenerative secrets from Asia, Africa, and the Caribbean, plus "Rita's herbal bath rituals" -- which'll hopefully involve you joining the wrinkled-but-spry widow in the tub for a blunt. Depending on how you play it, your baked flirtation could evoke one of two reggae songs: "Could You Be Loved?" or "Simmer Down".