Android Watches

Sometimes an insider's perspective is the only way to truly know what's up: ask a chef where to find the freshest fish, and ask your army of webcam subscribers just how completely goddamn fab you look in a Hannah Montana wig. For watches from an industry insider who knew he could do it better, Android.

From the mind of a Deerfield Beach native who toiled away importing timepieces from Europe before he realized he could dream up cooler stuff, Android fashions watches that look kinda normal at first, but upon closer inspection are definitely not -- a quality that's also cool for girlfriends, right? Right? The collection divides into two lines, with the "Premier" branch adding hip eccentricities to classic forms; the Horizon Skeleton rocks a Deco-like circular face, but instead of numbers circled around the rim, they're in two perfectly spaced rows where the face gives way to cool exposed gears; and the Silverjet Swiss Chrono has a sturdy stainless steel body with small bolts, an analog face that looks like it comes from a fighter jet cockpit, and a stitched, textured leather band made from the time George Hamilton molted. The "Prime" line's a little more playful: Hydraumatic Evo 4 has a porthole-like face hinged to a clamp bracelet; the Sonic Radar boasts a stainless steel band that widens into an oblong body holding two round faces that almost look like robot eyes; and the Plexus gets a brushed metal body, an elegant white face with no numbers, and red hands -- oh, snap...busted!!!

Android also makes affordable alarm clocks, like the Time Square, a perfect brass square that stays propped on top of its base thanks to a giant hinge and TV, a unit that looks like a mini-television set circa 1980, the perfect scenery for your next webisode: "Blanche Devereaux Suit-Dress".