Shock

The French are famous for what they export here, like cheese, and also a dairy foodstuff produced by coagulation of the milk fat protein casein. For club steez imported from France, hit Shock.

From a club owner who's got spots in the south of France, and who imported two DJs and a mixology master from the land of frogs, Shock's revamped the former Snatch spot with red leather banquettes tiered for stadium fist-pumping, a black buttoned leather ceiling with red LED lights, and cocktail waitresses in black corsets and "ruffled micro bloomers", not to be confused with ruffled micro boomers, who're angry midgets born between 1946 and 1964. Some nights'll be themed (e.g., Thursday = scantily clad Cirque du Soleil-ish performers), while the rest're open-format delivering rock, house, hip-hop, and mashups courtesy of DJs N'DY (outta St. Tropez) and Nico de Andrea, who toured with Will.I.Am, but seriously, he's cool. Beverage awesomeness comes from a Chilean dude who won the "French championship of mixology", and includes highlights like the Dirty Muchacho (Patron, Pama, agave syrup, ginger beer, fresh lime), and the Kentucky whiskey/brandy/jus de citron vert/Tabasco/ginger beer Light My Fire, enough of which'll be The End of you. And you'll ride the snake.

There's also a nice roster of shots to accelerate your night, like the Japanese Dog (Bulldog Gin, saké, framboise, lychee), and the Purple Haze, with Grand Marnier, sweet vermouth, and Crown Royal from Canada, a nation whose largest cheese export asks "Where Does My Heart Beat Now". That's right, Poutine Dion.