It's funny when you think you know someone but you really don't, like when you saw harmless ol' Santa Claus trying to kiss your mother (totally unexpected), or worse, your prude mom actually said no (WTF, Mom?!? I want a Power Wheels!). For a blog revealing the truth about our very own King James, check out MrsLeBronWade.com
MLW's a hilarious, visually jarring blog on which the apparently newly betrothed Mrs. LeBron Wade reveals his feelings about being married to Dwyane via diary-like entries, and also features "newspaper articles" on the couple and horrifying images of LeBron's mug deftly Photoshopped onto a hot chick's fake-boobed body, effectively making him the Chosen Twos. The highlights
From a newspaper story on the emotional challenges of step-motherhood (with a pic of a lingerie-clad James and a buff Wade in bed together): The children were initially frightened and confused by their new step-mother, and would not speak to him. "At 6'8, I understand that I do not look like the typical step mother..." LeBron stopped the interview here and cried softly for 10 minutes, and was unable to comment further
LeBron on how American Airlines Arena can improve their ambiance: More of a Unicorn theme. Just here and there, pictures and paintings of unicorns...I would [also] like the arena to pump out "Here Comes the Bride" when I am announced at the beginning of games and hopefully right before I am to shoot free-throws
A blog entry in rap form by adopted child Chris Bosh: Other teams in the league don't even have-a-star / We have Three! Plus I look like an avatar. / You other teams out there? Just quit your bitchin'! / Dadwyane and LeMom makin' out in the kitchen
LeBron's also nice enough to share his favorite other sites: "these guys did mine! highly recommended!!!" links to a Coral Gables boob-job shop, "my favorite brand" to Tampax, and "the best books" to Siren's roster of chick-oriented erotica, with titles like "Shackled By The Cowboy Drifter" and "Acquainted With The Night", which Santa Claus obviously is, although he seems to be having troubles with the ladies of it.