Freedom of speech is a double edged sword: it keeps you safe from getting locked up for expressing yourself, but also allows for the production and distribution of extremely terrifying home videos, a la Freedom Of Screech. For a blog hilariously exercising its freedom, read BoyWritesMiami. From a guy whose write-ups were repeatedly deleted from review sites because of his pottymouth, who then started a blog as an act of booze-fueled rebellion, BWM's a collection of restaurant reviews, Miami observations, and general wise-ass facetiousness in which he makes fun of everything from South Florida drivers to Maury Povich, who subsequently tried to send him to boot camp for out-of-control teens. Some highlights: From a review of Yard House in Coral Gables "I remember the first time I set foot in the Yard House since it was scarier than watching my grandmother eat a banana...The bartender proceeded to hand me the drink (of mixed beers) and I promptly gave it back to him because mixing beers is about the stupidest thing I've ever heard, and I've heard Nickelback." From a review of Metro Zoo, in which he explains some of the lies he tells to children there: "Like trees, you can tell how old a giraffe is by cutting off its head and counting the rings on its neck. That's why they're endangered" and "Did you know that 3-toed sloths feed on the crushed dreams of minor league baseball players? I will make a great father." From "A Lesson In Amish People": "Not much can be said about the Amish religion, except that it is like Christianity, only much, much stupider. God's public relations team is vastly superior to the Amish. Think about the last time some sports star thanked God for his abilities after a game. Now try and remember the last time Sammy Sosa thanked the Amish. Right." The blog also catalogs random thoughts from his Twitter feed, including gems like a new word he learned from a janitor: "hurrinate; when someone urinates in a hurry and leaves reckless yellow droplets on the seat", a sight that no doubt brings said janitor to a Screeching halt.