Shockingly not named after Apple's wildly successful PDA everyone's still reminiscing sweetly about, Newton's four-room, warehouse-esque, window-lined facility was born after owner Chris Newton decided Isaac's scientific principles also applied to getting you totally jacked. So, he created a regime based around stuff like doing weight-vest suspension push-ups, pulling Hummers down the street, and pounding tires with sledgehammers, eliciting numerous offers to volunteer from Peter Gabriel. Some of their sinew-straining options:
The Great Outdoors Bootcamp: Held on a giant outdoor field, a typical session involves passing 150lb garbage truck tires in an assembly line, whacking the hell out of those same tires with
Peter Gabriel sledgehammers, working battle ropes (basically swinging yacht-tying nylon ropes long enough for Andre the Giant to double-dutch in if he wasn't totally wasted), and pushing/pulling Chris's H2 across the field.
Suspension Training: Every exercise's performed while elevated on one of 40 straps draped from a super-long steel pole that runs across the space, from inverted push-ups to curling kettle balls while upside down, finally putting gravity to better use than just silly-binding the entire universe together.
Tactical Training: Chris teams with a former Marine drill instructor to school you on how to effectively defend yourself through correct kicking, punching, and elbowing techniques on massive punching bags, though if said massive bag is named Vincent D'Onofrio, your drill instructor will have you use a pillowcase full of soap.
Classes can be picked up individually or in bulk, and just because Thrillist readers are remarkably handsome and get basically whatever they want, just mention you read about Newton here and you'll score 20% off your first 20- or 50-class package, even though everyone knows there's no need for a big package when you have a single handheld device that features a calendar, a note pad, and a to-do list.