Lifestyle

ManVsZombies

The zombie doomsday is a double-edged sword: you're living in constant fear, ceaselessly fleeing undead whose lone goal is to devour your brains and turn your loved ones into one of them, but on the plus side, no rent!!! For reports from a guy living the dream/nightmare, read ManVsZombies.MVZ's a Twitter feed from a horny, pot-addicted, video-game-loving local dude named Gus, chronicling his misadventures as he struggles to survive and self-medicate in a Miami overrun by a zombie apocalypse that extends beyond Washington Ave at 4am. Highlights cover things like:Rummaging through some zombie-eaten guy's computer: 1) dude was really into ThunderCats 2) his p**n collection was primarily composed of handjob videos... too bad he's dead, we coulda hung out.Observing zombie habits: It's been confirmed. Zombies like to have angry make-up sex in burning Ferraris.Undead holiday traditions: Do zombies play Secret Santa? I feel bad for the one zombie who's allergic to adrenal glands.Zombie diversity: I once asked a zombie what his name was and he responded, "gaaaarghh fssssh moooaagghh." I think he was Vietnamese.His growing horniness: And by no means am I going to bang a zombie. Though the image of her giving me a handy using someone else's severed hand is kinda hot.Gus's zombie-addled reality is so legit he even posts twitpics on what's happening: his new fur-coat "body armor", a girl dead in a tree about which he laments "I saw us having kids... sipping Champagne...", and a dead dude whose condo he takes over with a shot of the keys, which hopefully also go to a closet lock strong enough to hold the owner once he wakes up with brains on the brain.