Sahri Lounge Table Dance Club

Sometimes the middle ground is what you need: for Goldilocks, both the middle porridge and middle bed were just right, though no matter how you slice it, breaking into bears' houses, stealing their food, and messing up their bedrooms is just wrong. For a not-quite-men's-club, not-quite-regular-club owning that middle ground, hit Sahri Table Dance Club

A hybrid between a small night club and that other kind of club you claim you don't go to but leaves you smelling suspiciously sweet (there's no nudity, and you won't be harassed to buy lap dances, but you will gaze upon girls in their undies) Sahri boasts a European cabaret feel via antique mirrors, classical female nudes on the walls, and red leather bottle service banquettes surrounding four stripper poles -- or actually, considering the joint's steez, pole poles. Female staffers start the night in classily enticing pencil skirts and ruffled blouses; as the evening progresses/bottle count goes up, more and more clothes begin to disappear, until they're down to lingerie, bloomers, garter belts, and in the wee hours, pasties, which like your attention, will remain glued. Imbibing's accomplished via a healthily full bar plus bottle service at the dance poles including Dom, Perrier-Jouét Fleur, Blanc & Fleur Rose, Cognacs like Courvoisier VS, VSOP, and XO, various Patrons, and Johnnie Walker Green/Black/Blue -- but at the end of the night, you'll end up black and blue if you don't have the green

Upstairs there's a more intimate space for VIP action and bachelor parties, with hardwood floors, a perimeter of white leather seating, and, overlooking the lower level, a massive leather-padded bed, where you can only hope to be awoken by three bares.