A caveman workout you can perform when nomadic

While traveling to visit family and friends over the holidays is great, it's also just about the best excuse to not work out, aside from "Glenn Danzig keeps shaking his head disappointedly when I do deadlifts". Come back from the upcoming holidays -- or any trip away from your gym -- frighteningly in-shape, thanks to Crossfit 305's travel workout.

Following their bare-bones fitness philosophy combining power, speed, balance, and cardio into a single workout, Miami-based Crossfit 305's put together a travel fitness circuit of four moves you should repeat 3-5 times without resting while you're home for the holidays or in a hotel room, killing time while waiting to use your Talkboy to perpetrate a clever ruse on Tim Curry.

10 Chair Shoot-Throughs (upper body, core, agility) Place two chairs shoulder-width apart like parallel bars. With hands on the seats and feet on the ground, do a push-up. Then, swing feet through so you're belly-up. Do a dip, then swing feet back through to push-up position, and repeat. You can walk your feet through the chairs and skip the swinging if you're tired/prefer to continue having boring predictable sex with one person forever. Check out the photo sequence of this gem

5 Squat Double-Lunges (lower body, balance) With feet shoulder-width apart, squat with arms forward for balance so hip joint is below the knee (back straight, chest out). Rise to standing, and with hands on hips, lunge forward with one leg, then back to standing. Lunge with other leg. Push yourself back to standing, and repeat all three maneuvers, also how you can describe two hours of playing Starfox. Here's how to keep your form, you lazy ingrate

10 V-Ups (core, balance, the opportunity to say "god this effin sucks") Lay flat on back with hands raised at 45-degree angle in front of chest. Keeping back and legs as straight as possible, do a sit-up into a V position, pause at top, then unfold into a plank. For a slightly easier move, try raising one leg at a time -- you dog, you! Check some photos of how to properly humble yourself with this move

5 Six Point Burpees (upper body, core, agility, explosive power) While standing, drop to push-up position, do a push-up, then tuck knees under chest and explode up, jumping as high as possible. Make sure you emphasize the jump, and "pause at each position" -- although if you can do that at the top of the jump, the rest of this stuff probably seems pretty trivial. Burps are gross. Excellent burpees, seen here, will make you ungross.

If you're in the unfortunate position of being fat and having nowhere to travel, Crossfit offers daily small-group classes where they incorporate moves like these, plus big truck tires, sledge hammers, kettlebells, a sled pull, and Olympic-style lifts like snatches and clean & jerk, also what you call Glenn Danzig when he showers, then laughs at you at the gym.