Super Luxury Auto Auction

A man of your extraordinary wealth and taste is entitled to a distinctive automobile, one that costs hundreds of thousands -- or better yet, millions -- of dollars. Make a play for this ride at the Rand/Workman Fine Motor Auction & Luxury Lifestyle Expo.After breezing through the obligatory pre-auction financial examination*, the paltry $150 bidders fee will allow you to enter the fray with your signature gusto. Among the cars worth laying off your midnight-8am kitchen staff for:

  • Nick Cage's 1967 350GT Shelby Mustang from Gone in 60 Seconds. Because much like Mr. Cage, you're not just a man of wealth, you're a man of action. And a pedophile.
  • Smoothly stylish Joseph Stalin's 1948 ZIS-115 armored limousine convertible; the car that says "benevolently reordering the world is far more enjoyable with no roof over your head".
  • One of two existing Maybach SW38 Two-Seat Roadsters, expected to command a reasonable $5,000,000.

Even if you've filled both floors of your auxiliary garage, this magnificent showcase of 250 distinctive classics, moderns, and exotics is worth attending just for the spectacle. With a $100 general pass, you'll be thrilled by the frantic open-bidding sessions, where extravagant sums are made insignificant by even more extravagant sums, and a single bang of the gavel can make a powerful man flood his monocle with tears. Whether you're bidding or gawking, there's something for everyone at the Rand/Workman Auction. Personally, we'll be bidding $200 for John John's oil-burning '88 T-Bird (Joe Piscopo's IROC Camaro has been pre-sold), the very thing to match our extraordinary wealth and taste.*If your liquidity is temporarily strained, you'll easily merit a loan from the MBNA on-site financing officer.