You hit dozens of sources to get the info you need to make it through the day, from TV/radio for your traffic, to your elephant-man swollen knee for the weather. Make the updates come to you, with A!erts
A!erts delivers you all manner of reminders and data by email, SMS, or phone call, depending on the nature of the info, and whether or not it's easily commutable to soothing robot-speak. Just tell them what you want to hear about, and how often; there's everything from birthday reminders, to cheapest location-specific hotel, flight, and gas prices, to 3rd-/6th-inning/final baseball scores, giving you up to three excuses a night to drink more heavily. You can also set up real-time traffic/weather updates, wake-up calls, Jobster-powered employment listings, even Amber alerts, so you know right away when you've gotta quit insisting "your grandma sent me" and just stash the kid in the trunk
Also available: "Daily Tidbits" (celeb b-days, Chinese proverbs, motivational quotes), and "Free Form" custom alerts that allow you to compose your own text: "1pm: if raining, self-drain knee and catch a ride to ER. Now."