To defend against the hapless wailing of a hysterical public, corporations erect impenetrable labyrinths known as electronic phone menus, which pick off callers like so many automated turrets in a post-apocalyptic zombie-filled wasteland. Since that's no good, short circuit their defenses with Fonolo

Fresh out of Toronto (what isn't these days?), Fon's finally entered public beta with a site that allows you to circumvent electronic mazes so you'll have time for more human interactions, like watching TV. Submit your phone number, search the database for the maddening company you need to contact, then peruse their fully transcribed menu to find direct lines to your desired destination, whether it's tech support, customer service, or the housewives division of 1-800-BIG-BUTT, except we made that one up because nobody complains about huge asses. Once locked on, click the "Call Here" button (which features an icon informing whether you'll be reaching a computer or a real person), and Fon will call to connect you to that very department, so you can skip the foreplay and get straight down to "The Return of Jafar is stuck in my DVD player again"

During beta, Fon's restricted the number of available companies to around 300, but'll be rolling out an expanded list in the future, though probably not in time for you to get that refund before the zombie hordes eat Circuit City's brains.