Whomever said its not the destination but the journey was obviously a spoiled brat who never had to drive one. But if you think you and your Subaru can withstand the jealousy that a peek behind the curtain of gilded transportation is sure to incite, then read on and discover the latest in moneyed mobility.
Conquest Evade: Known for building luxury armored SUVs for the chic Sheik, Conquest's recently unveiled Evade model marks the company's first foray into vehicles you could actually mow down with an assault rifle. Taken from military vehicles: joystick-controlled 360-degree searchlights, night vision cams, and, just as with so many Colombian call girls, a rear that's widened for executive security entry and exit.
Kinetik Antagonist: Billed as a "luxury compact yacht", Kinetic's new Antagonist is 37 feet of water-shredding wood and leather. Powered by twin 370hp Yanmar engines (they're all super smooth and stuff), highlights include seating for eight covered in leather from specialists Boxmark; precision-engineered stairs (not a ladder, but actual stairs) that seamlessly open and swivel into the water; and an ergonomic, power-controlled captain's chair that houses a picnic box & small refrigerator, and's described as "almost throne-like", appropriate, as anyone driving this thing is totally the sh*t.
Nurburgring Mini Hot Rod: Maybe your Evade's in the shop. Maybe you just need to speed down your driveway to get your mail. Maybe you just like having a tiny, 13.6hp car that costs as much as a full-size one. In any event, the famed racing track has started producing street-legal wee whips that can reach 55mph, and start at $15,000, so they're perfect for brats and could trade in for about 30 of them.