Tennessee Williams said that memories seem "to happen to music", but if that were true, your whole life would be set to "MMMBop" by Hanso....Crap. So, it is true! For a blog that proves it's easier get songs stuck in your head than movies, Movies I Don't Remember.
Started by a buddy of the How To Beat Up Anything guy, this Tinseltown-based blog -- inspired by a horribly inaccurate cable write-up of Jurassic Park III -- posts a single synopsis each day of a movie he once saw without doing any research or "rewatching", also what you do with the LEGO Star Wars timepiece your sister got you for Christmas. Among those now playing on an internet near you:
Jerry Mcguire: "Tom Cruise, in the title role, is a sports agent who's fallen on hard times, but Cuba Gooding Jr. is his ticket out. Tom Cruise has sex with a woman who says, "Never stop f***** me," and she's supposed to be bad. Also, there's some horrible little boy with glasses, although I have no idea how he factors into the plot."
Jackie Brown: "I think she has some passionate but stalled thing going on with Harvey Keitel, who's a bail bondsman or something. Some people rob like a Wal-Mart: I'm picturing some drama or action in the parking lot. Mainly what I remember about this movie is the font used for the title", (he subsequently learns said font is different than he remembers).
Critters 2: "One of the bounty hunters dies; another (maybe the same one) takes the form of a Playboy centerfold and walks around topless-with a huge staple in her belly, what? Later, a bunch of critters ball up into one big critter and roll around. [NOTE: This movie had a phone number you could call before it came out and listen to scenes from it. Did I call this number? Yes, I did.]"
Each entry includes a still from the movie (he swears he doesn't look 'em up until after he's done writing), most of which are captioned, like one for Donnie Brasco that simply reads "not gonna last", which is true, considering what Hanson teaches us about friends and how "in an MMMbop they're gon"...Aarrrrrgh! MAKE THE MIND PAIN STOP!