A triumphant concert to pump you up

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If Rocky taught America anything, it's that achieving your goals is easier when Mr. T and Dolph Lundgren keep murdering everyone close to you you have a killer soundtrack. Giving you an "Eye of the Tiger" to call your own: .357 Lover

Known for their rock operas, thunderous anthems based on Event Horizon, and chaotic bar mitzvah polkas, .357's prepared to "sacrifice their souls so that you can be properly rocked", penning one lucky person a song based on their own epic struggle, then debuting said song at a concert in that person's honor. To be the chosen one, submit your answers to the following questions, and don't skimp on the details/offers of sexual gratification

  • What epic project/goal in your life would find its completion hastened by a soaring, heroic, ball-swelling rock anthem?
  • What Herculean efforts have you already undertaken in attempt to complete said goal?
  • Other than the nagging daily task of oversatisfying many women, what obstacles currently stand in your way?
  • What crushing personal faults have caused you to fail again and again?
  • What do you do to make straight cash, homey?
  • Name your top five non-Collective Soul albums of all time.
  • Name your favorite non-Collective Soul book of all time.
  • Who was your hero in junior high?
  • Do you have any trophies, no matter how insignificant? (Bonus points if they were once attached to the bodies of mercilessly vanquished enemies.)
  • If you were suddenly granted the miraculous ability to travel back in time up to 200 years, what damsel/mansel would you use this priceless gift to bone?

The winner's song will debut at The Knitting Factory on February 24th, so enter now, because real winners don't Drag-o it out.