Your SXSW executive assistant

There's no such thing as a free SXSW lunch -- getting into those free parties costs you time, inbox space, and, considering how many random, not-FDA-regulated energy drinks you'll be consuming, at least one kidney. Remove those first two items from the equation, with RSVPster.

Like a personal secretary you don't have to buy an Xmas present for, RSVPster takes the hassle out of unofficial SouthBy raging by filling your dance-card with gratis music, film, and interactive events -- and making sure the repercussions of attending don't blow back on you -- all thanks to an ATX music blogger hoping to make enough cheddar to avoid waitressing during the Fest, where the only music she'd hear is the world's tiniest violin. How it works: for a small fee (which you'll easily recoup in sponsored grub/suds), she'll plug your info into hundreds of webforms, with confirmations sent to a dummy email of your choosing, preserving inbox sanctity while guest-listing you for countless parties for which you won't need any dirty rotten filthy stinking rich badges, even if Warrant is playing. Further enabling your laziness, she'll supply a comprehensive spreadsheet dataset with particulars like booze/food sponsors, acts, and even rumored secret performances, like when Courtney Love played Nirvana songs last year at the... ah, Nevermind.

Since gluttony loves company, she'll also make sure you're listed with a +1, and if a form doesn't provide for one, she'll register one friend of your choosing -- someone who'll feel properly indebted, for when all that taurine-ing means you need a free kidney.