2009, the Year in Headlights

Gadgets: To help satisfy their desire for new tech, people looked to a real-deal wizard before retiring to all-inclusive isolation chambers that actually helped them remember where they parked their cars.

Food/Drink: To stay nourished, people armed themselves with potent crossbred meats, then passed the time by bonding over the legends of dark spirits and schooling themselves in the finer things.

Services: Continuing the grand tradition of exploiting their employers' time and resources, everyone learned new ways to use leftover vodka, and bragged endlessly about the huge flatscreen they stole.

Travel: Despite widespread economic unease, people still made time to scout perfect places to break their legs on vacation, while leaving it to others to figure out when the hell they should leave town and what to check out when they get there.

Gear: Finding new ways to cloak themselves, the masses learned how to pretend they were wearing a suit while preventing the natural unpleasantness that arrives when Scandinavians decide to make Elvis' kicks in neon.