CellarThief

The Internets can score you deep discounts on everything from clothing to electronics, but how in the hell are cheap noise-isolating earbuds supposed to help you feel confident that eating multiple cheesesteaks while ordering the complete Clarissa Explains It All DVD collection at 3am is the right move? They can't, but cut-rate wines from CellarThief sure can.From a coterie with backgrounds in the fermented grape biz, Cellar offers a hand-picked selection of three legitimately classy vinos until the allotted time expires/they sell out, for the claimed "lowest prices on the web" thanks to their special relationships with the wineries, who keep promising to leave their wives, but obviously never will. Every three days at midnight (soon to become every weekday) three bottles go up, selected to match a certain niche/occasion/price range (#1="special occasions", #2's priced to be an "everyday wine", #3's a "wild card"); along with a photo and price comparison, you get winery deets and recommended food pairings, plus a professional review and Cellar's oeno-ignorant "translated" version, obviously accomplished with the help of Rosé-etta Stone. A recent day's trio included a sub-$20 Italian Dolcetto they deemed a "big bomber" ("will almost make you go weak in the knees") best suited for goudas, fish, or pestos; a "rich and tasty" Hildegard out of Santa Barbara to be paired with mushroom ravioli or Brie for $25 ($10 better than the competition); and a Tuscan Finisterre (half Alicante/half Syrah) going for $25 cheaper than anyone else, which goes best with "hefty, rich, and hedonistic foods you'll be ashamed you ate in the morning" -- too late, considering you already ate Gene Simmons last week. If your quest for vino knowledge is utterly insatiable, there's a blog with videos of the Cellar team doing stuff like interviewing some "legendary" winemakers and just drinking and talking about their latest favorites, like that episode where Ferguson thinks he's a genius, and Clarissa exposes him by taking him on Brain Drain...man, she really does know it all!