Just-released, menacingly illustrated book A History of Weapons (Crossbows, Caltrops, Catapults & Lots of Other Things that Can Seriously Mess You Up) nerdily gushes over the design and use of 130+ historical instruments of combat... so yeah, it probably wasn't very cool in high school. Thankfully, author and self-professed "weapon nerd" John O'Bryan was good enough to hook up some yearbook superlative picks for his favorite arms, just so none of them would feel left out.
First up (from a chapter about the surprisingly murdery Age of Discovery), a poker that John contends is a result of "the European sword going in for some liposuction during the late Middle Ages":
From a post-Revolutionary War chapter entitled "''Merica! Eating Possum & Sh*tting Freedom, 1176-1900":
From a chapter about Early Modern Asian weapons, which John insists were used on silly Anglo-Saxon invaders in "ways the good Lord never intended":
John supports his claim that "the Renaissance may have resulted in some important cultural achievements, but it also resulted in some of the dumbest ideas to ever leak out of the human skull", with this "horribly convoluted clusterf*ck of a weapon":
One of many highlights from a pretty gruesome chapter about how the Black Plague... plagued the Middle Ages called "Ew! What's That Boil on Europe's Neck?!":
And finally, from the deliciously titled chapter "Japanese Beef" comes this pairing, which includes a sword John calls "the Cadillac of bladed weapons" despite being "one of the weakest weapons in Grand Theft Auto":