GymyGym

Finding time during the work day to squeeze in a full workout can be tough, unless of course you're willing to skip Becky the secretary's Pekingese's Quinceanera luncheon, and you know there's gonna be ice cream at that mug. Get fully ripped without leaving your cubicle, thanks to the GymyGym

The world's first "ergonomic exercise chair", the GG discreetly incorporates four adjustable resistance band workout stations into its design so you can tone through the workday, while promoting better posture and comfort with a flat bungee cord seat, also useful if your disgusting heft becomes so depressing you want to jump off a bridge. Boasting a locking recline lever, GG's 16 possible positions are designed to hit every major muscle group, starting w/ upper-body action like military presses (slight recline, rear-seat handles extended upward), bent-over rows (one knee on seat, head resting on chair back, lifting side handle up), and further reclined chest presses, because if you could press a bench you really wouldn't need this chair, would you? For shredding below, there're Velcro ankle cuffs that enable action like leg presses, leg extensions, and hip flexor exercises, which involve leaning on the armrests and performing ballerina-esque leg kicks, though lose your balance and the Nutcracker will be the GymyGym

Those concerned with cubicle decor can outfit the black frame of their chair with one of three band colors -- red, black, or orange -- also the color scheme for Becky's big luncheon, which you better not miss, lest you get fully ripped.