Any man who spends half his life online should eventually ask himself a series of tough, fundamental questions -- chief among them, "when I die, who will inherit my subscription to Bang Bros?". Put your weary mind at ease, with Legacy Locker. Launching out of SF today, LL's a super-secure web-safe for the "digital assets" you accumulate over a lifetime -- everything from email/social network accounts, to photos, to iTunes/Rhapsody/whatever credits -- which LL will automatically divvy out to whomever you see fit when you go up to the big chat room in the sky. To place an asset in your locker, simply input a site's URL and your login info, then designate a beneficiary you want emailed said info when you call it a life; they'll get it along with any instructions you may specify, e.g., "deactivate my account immediately", or "this is a level eight rogue ork...pwn wisely with him". In order for any info to be disseminated, someone needs to report your death to LL, and certain "verifiers" (your mom, your spouse, Alanis Morissette...) must confirm that you are indeed not-alive; they also recommend you tote around an LL ID card (explaining the service and how to reach them), to help out the kindly gentleman rifling through your wallet in an alley. LL also lets you compose "Legacy Letters", post-croak emails to be delivered to any number of recipients. Membership's not free, but you can designate a limited number of assets and beneficiaries with a free trial run -- but if those don't turn into long-term relationships, then who's that moaning in the tab behind this one, Bro?