The Amazon's full of things you just don't see anywhere else, like crazy bugs, striking jungle views, and a bunch of endangered stuff, like the careers of everyone in Anacondas. Board the luxury cruise ship that'll give you the run of it, with the M/V Aqua. 130 feet of rugged luxury specifically designed to journey down the northern Amazon in Peru, the Aqua takes up to 24 guests on 3-to-7 night excursions in between feasting on grub from a star Peruvian chef, of whom you'll ask "there's steaks out there this biiiiiiig?!?!?" Inter-lavishness expeditions include ranger-guided skiffs to the iguana-infested Yacapana Islands (whose waters're full of pink dolphins), torch-led journeys into the rainforest to find "huge night creatures", piranha hunting at a lake swarming with them using an old-school rod/hook setup baited with raw meat, and rides deep into jungle creeks to hang with crazy monkeys and learn about "medicinal jungle plants", so start memorizing those glaucoma symptoms like, yesterday. The boat itself's outfitted with three fully-baller decks, the first two housing eight suites and four "master suites" w/ massive river-facing windows, plus an indoor bar/lounge with booze and top-notch South American wines, and a panoramic-windowed dining room to feast on braised catfish, short ribs, and other Peruvian specialties; the top deck's got its own enclosed lounge, plus a big observation deck to chill in the sun, or just see how many people's windows down below you can loogie into. Aqua'll work with you to personalize all trips in terms of excursion specifics and custom-built menus, and depending on how many peeps you get to come, they might even grant you a discount -- deep, but not $2.99 with purchase of Rolaids deep.