Out of all the billions of foreign language courses out there, it seems none accomplish the most essential goal: teaching you to tell foreigners what they can go do to their mothers. Get internationally foul-mouthed, with Professor Crass' International Cursing 101
Hatched by a River North guy after being constantly asked how to swear in his ancestral Polish tongue, Crass is an instructional CD filled with shocking multilingual words and phrases, translated by Chicagoans ranging from the founder's friends, to his Kent Law School classmates, to his favorite White Hen cashier. Currently, 12 different languages are offered: Arabic, French, German, Hebrew, Hindi, Italian, Mandarin, Punjabi, Polish, Spanish (Mexico), Spanish (Spain), and Kannada, spoken by the 35,000,000 inhabitants of the Indian state of Karnataka, not by Communist Steve Nash. The nasty ranges from the basic ("Bulls**t", "Dumb c**t", the always stinging "F**k your mother"), to the hygienic ("Brush your teeth with my d**k", "Come shave my pubic hair"), to the seemingly impossible, but apparently not for Indo-Aryans ("Go drown in a handful of semen")
Bonus foulness: each CD jacket sports a breakdown of 10 internationally offensive hand gestures, some of which mean completely different things in America (peace sign in Australia & England = "f**k off", thumbs up in the Middle East and Russia = shove it where the sun don't shine) -- helpful if your essential goal is not to be killed by a band of irate foreigners.