Bathing suits are a lifestyle statement -- board shorts say "I'm casual, and came to chill", while spandex boy shorts say "I'm Daniel Craig, and as soon as you start chilling I'm going to superiorly fellate your girlfriend". Find your fit from a brand that makes 'em all, with Pull-In.
From a French concern known for their "funky and technical" underwear, PI's taken their nether-swaddling to the beach with a fresh line of luxe swimwear boasting five different fits in loads of flashy patterns, a useful distraction in case none of the fits actually do. Things start long with the polyester/spandex mono-cargo-pocketed Board Short, which reaches just below the knee and's available in 40+ colorways, including a black, grey, and pink collage of cassette tapes, and a reddish job with The Flash in various action poses; kneecap-flashing can be had with the Warrior, also boasting a single pocket, and avail covered in everything from multi-colored stars to red-and-white dice, which you roll every time you choose to expose your legs around women. Things creep further up the thigh with the Sun, cut a few inches above the knee, and for an entirely different steez there's the Jam, made from 100% polyester and cut half-thigh to please the dad in you, coming in 10 colorways including a navy base that's covered in strawberries, sure to be far less disappointing than future fruits of your loins.
Should you want to get arrested, PI's also got nine colorways of the barely-butt-covering, lycra-infused Copacabana, coincidentally the name of the place where you found your girlfriend post-Craig, both shaken and stirred.