Etsy's the perfect forum for people to share their creativity, letting anyone peddle anything from intricately carved coffee mugs, to elaborate beaded jewelry, to oven mitts lovingly crocheted from actual human hair. No, seriously, you can buy that. Revealing Etsy's dark side, Regretsy.
A handpicked selection of generally repugnant handmade goods, Regretsy's the unofficial authority on the worst/most absurd items on Etsy, using photos and wonderful sarcasm that'll totally elude the guy who made the "Frida Kahlo Uterus Plushie". A few
Awful painting of a human amputee with a cat's head by a Berkeley-based artist, listed for sale at $99,000: "If I had $99,000 to spend on a painting of a hospitalized amputee with a kitten head being tended to by a woman with no face, this would probably be the one I'd go with. Depends on the frame."
A $600 unidentified 4-legged mounted/taxidermied animal made into a "unicorn": "What the hell is this thing? A dead goat with a corn cob glued to its head? A flocked donkey carcass stuffed with old copies of Martha Stewart Living? Maybe it's a stillborn pony on a giant tostada. Whatever it is, it's horrible. It doesn't even have any eyes, for God's sake. It's like something out of The Cell, only not as cheery."
$15 drawing of a kid passed out face-down in a big piss puddle, from an artist in Kentucky: "Yeah, hi, I have a question. Do you have any prints of children lying face down in giant, sulfurous puddles of urine? You do? Great, I'll be right there."
A $29.99 pink, leopard-print shawl intended as a coat for pet goats, for sale via the "Furbabies Boutique": "You know what goats like? They like grass. They like tin cans. They like going behind the shed and taking a sh*t in peace. They don't like having leopard outfits strapped to their sagging haunches like Kim Cattrall."
For each item, Regretsy links directly to the actual Etsy page in case you find something too good/bad to pass up -- from there, it's on you to find the perfect forum to unveil your newly purchased masturbating dinosaur wall art to the masses.