Retrowerk

Thanks to your cellphone, even the most hi-tech watch is technically an anachronism -- so why not savor the full spicy meatball of anachronism, by tricking out your wrist with a piece from Retrowerk.

From the land of Kaisers, Werk's first-ever line comprises three leather-banded styles derived from the faux-industrial aesthetics of steampunk, a fantasy-fiction genre that bestows the steam-power era with ornate modern technologies, and was bound, gagged, and left bleeding in its underwear on the side of the road by Wild Wild West. Each model's available in a brass or steel case and w/ either quartz or auto (self-winding, no battery) movement, starting with the Compass Jump Hour, a 46mm joint that forgoes hands for three concentric rotating discs displaying hours, minutes, and seconds; the crown (aka, the little twiddly thing on the side) is covered by a hinged contraption resembling a grenade lever, while jutting from the case and partially obscuring the face is a compass dial, helpful for time-sensitive appointments with yetis. Next up's the Piston, a slightly smaller number that sticks to a traditional dial, covered by hardened mineral crystal glass and adorned with protruding rivets that make the whole thing resemble a submarine porthole, while the same grenade-like crown's attached on the top to the namesake, decorative-but-useless piston, aka the Kwame Brown.

Retro also offers the more subdued, quartz-only Retrograde, featuring a standard face, the same piston-less crown cover as the Compass model, and a date window -- ensuring your watch remains an anachronism, by reminding you it's time to pay your cellphone bill.