Steal The Time

Extravagant watches can be powerful status symbols, raising your esteem in the eyes of everyone from maitre d's to buxom women, at least according to some jerk who's got an extravagant watch. Rent your way to undue respect, with Steal The Time.

Like an exotic car rental service for crazy-high-end watches, Steal leases luxury wrist wares to its members for a fraction of their retail prices, providing affordableish pimpery for guys needing to fake success at business meetings, shine at special occasions, or simply offset spectacularly small wangs. To outfit your wrist, just pony up their nominal monthly membership fee, then select a piece from their constantly-growing roster of almost 30 models, and enjoy for as long as you like before returning; weekly and monthly rates're scaled to reflect the timepieces' relative values, and you'll also be asked to drop a deposit, because the kind of person who rents a luxury watch to lie about his wealth is the same kind of person who'd steal one. Current options include standards like the legendary Rolex Submariner (in steel, or a steel/gold combo), Breitling's classic two-toned Chronomat on a brown alligator strap, and Cartier's Pasha with its understated polished look, as well as more modern jobs like the analog/digital T-Touch from Tissot, whose crystal face responds to touch, switching into modes including compass, altimeter, barometer, and thermometer, which is how, in Pulp Fiction, Chris Walken could tell if he had a fever.

If you're looking for more permanent steez, Steal also sells all their models at a discounted price, netting you anywhere from $200 to $5000+ off suggested retail, money you'll need when you're buying that rich jerk dinner, because who could say no to a watch like that?