Avoiding traffic tickets requires a lot of attention, a little bit of luck, and an ultra-real-skin'd blow-up doll. Since anyone who's lucky doesn't have a blow-up doll, protect yourself from those inevitable tickets with Ticketfree

Like insurance for the very tickets that jack up your actual insurance, TF'll cover the cost of nearly any violation you incur while driving (for a reasonable annual fee), so you can finally go too fast without getting all too furious. Current plans consist of the Mini, which exclusively covers speeding offenses; the Classic, which adds everyday scofflaw activities like light running and illegal u-turns; and the Enthusiast, which picks up the tab on parking tickets, plus miscellany like window tinting and noise violations, a necessary prophylactic for anyone playing the whistle tip game. Whoo WHOO! To recoup expenses, members simply enter their ticket info within 10 days of the court date and TF handles the rest, supplying an email confirmation when their payment goes through; if you choose to contest, they'll pay the fine in the event you lose, but should you actually win they'll cut you a check for the original ticket amount anyways (if crime truly doesn't pay, then speed drifting through the median must not be illegal, Dad)

Those looking to endorse irresponsibility can give any package as a gift, and members can score fat discounts for others by offering 'em a referral, though who has time for friends when Mona's skin feels sooo soft?