Trench Fantasy

While fantasy football gives you a chance to follow your favorite skill players' stats, haven't you nonetheless stayed up nights wondering how many punts Dave Zastudil pegged inside the 20 last week? You haven't? Well, get your act together, man, and play Trench Fantasy Football.

A decisively fresh spin on fantasy blessed with the express backing of ex-NFL tough guys Ronnie Lott, Derrick Deese, Gary Plummer, Brentson Buckner, and Brian Baldinger, TFF offers a chance to build teams focused on the men who tirelessly grind out wins, so the prettyboy QBs can publicly dump Jessica Simpson when she gets too fat: the offensive/defensive lines, defensive secondary, and special teams units. To get started, either create your own league of 6-10 teams or enter TFF's free public league; come draft day (there's both live online/manual offline options) each owner'll pick various NFL teams' units at 7 different positions (o-line, d-line, field goal, secondary, punt team, kickoff squad, defensive special teams), and play one team in each slot every week -- unless, in an administrative option borrowed from standard fantasy sports, you get really drunk the night before, sleep till 5:00, and never set them. TFF actually bashed brains with Lott, Plummer, etc, to come up with a 100-plus category points system based on stats reflecting NFL teams' scoring/not scoring, i.e. for o-line, positive points for first downs, total rush yards, # of 10+ play drives, negative points for sacks, 3 & outs, etc; and for punting unit, positive ticks for fair catches forced and punts inside the 15, and negative for punts blocked/returned for TDs, a unique scoring method TF calls "simple yet complex", recalling the marketing approach for Lincoln Logs.

Each week, you can drop units to add free agents, as well as strategize for upcoming games by analyzing provided injury reports, key matchups, and hot-or-not breakdowns -- exactly what you'll avoid, thanks to your intimate knowledge of how Zastudil's balls hang.