From bouncers who inexplicably hate you, to DJs who inexplicably love Flo Rida's "Right Round", blowing your cash in a colossal mega-club is stupid -- but blowing it in an intimate mini-club, now that's just smart. Walk up to The Chelsea's Fifth Floor, new and improved this Memorial Day weekend. Overlooking the pristine Jersey shore, the Fifth now sports dual nightlife joints: C5, a completely renovated brown velveted mini-mansion for cozy late-night shiny shirtedness, and Cabana Club, basically the huge outdoor pool the Chelsea opened with, now surrounded by newly refurbished cabanas and beach grass swaying inside planters made of Brazilian Ipe -- also known as ironwood, which sometimes happens around pools. Starting poolside, the cabanas have been completely overhauled w/ flatscreens, PS3s & a DVD/game library, while the canopied bar's pouring summer faves (margaritas, mojitos, etc) plus classic cocktails from the Smith & Mills guy including the French 75 and the Blood and Sand (or, what happens when horror movie extras have sex on the beach). Through a wall-length sliding glass door is C5, a plush three-roomed chateau that includes: the foyer (w/ vintage pool table and cylindrical chandelier that looks like a 70s shag Fleshlight); the bottle service club (w/ DJ booth and small stage); and the six-seat bar room, where they pour 50+ tequilas (Penca Azul Anejo, Inocente Ultra Premium...) and whiskeys like RidgeMont Reserve 1792, named for the year Kentucky became a state, and Sam Houston Small Batch Reserve, named for the guy who made Texas a state that insisted it was a country. Cabana and C5 have a door policy for non hotel guests, but the first 75 readers to RSVP for the opening parties Saturday & Sunday (May 23rd and 24th) get automatic entry -- earning the bouncers' explicable hatred as you jauntily skip right 'round them.