Best of the Best

Like muddling a drink with your wang, this month's Best of the Best will both soothe you and help you get your swerve on.

Emailed to Las Vegas: Hardcore Watches Inspired by his work on custom motorcycles, Hardcore's Steve Soffa initially launched his poker-demonic watch line in 2005 at the Laughlin River Run biker rally, but has now opted for a small, industrial-vibed showcase at the Rio, where rallying just means sweetening your coffee with Red Bull. Get more harrrrrrrrdcore here

Emailed to Boston: Nintendo Controller Soap Complete your shower using one of these original NES controller replica soap bars from local soapmaker Dirty *ss Soaps; bars are the exact size of the real thing, weigh 4.6oz, and are made of shea butter with a "Mountain Dew" fragrance, which you were previously only allowed to consume on weekends, when the babysitter let you rent Ninja Gaiden, so she could French with her boyfriend Ted. Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A Start here

Emailed to Nation: Warranty Elephant Helmed by a Torontonian who had to pay to repair his TV after losing his warranty documentation, WE was initially created as a simple way for his family and friends to store and track their own warranties, but has recently thrown open its doors to the public so everyone can "Buy It, Save It, and Forget It", adding a crucial middle step to correct your time-honored pattern. Stop forgetting your stuff here

Emailed to San Francisco: Stunner of the Month Haight-headquartered SOTM's a just-launched subscription service that delivers you a pair o' stunner shades each month for nine bucks, which're hand sourced globally and guaranteed to be legitimately rare, totally unbranded, and worth their $9/month pricetag...yayyy! Look like the unbridled jackarse you are here

Emailed to Miami: Seat N' Eat Picnic Cooler Combo Because girlfriends loooove picnics, grab the born-in-Fla Seat n' Eat, a picnic & cooler set you can haul over your shoulder, and carry two each of plates, cups, sets of flatware, red-and-white check napkins, and 12 cans of beer. Added bonus: it pops open to form a stool, which includes the special dating safety feature of only supporting 250 lbs. Women be all