It's time to squander your bonus on one of these five deals, organized by invested capital from Bear on up to Goldman. If you didn't get a bonus, then you're probably not reading this, because it went to the work account at the job you no longer have. Pauper.
Bear Stearns: Ylli Fall Clearance Sale
Thru Feb at 482 Driggs Ave, at N 10th, Bklyn 718.302.3555
Up to 80% off outerwear, jackets, jeans, and button-downs from premium designers like Loomstate, Barking Irons, and Iron Army -- "Save Ferrous?"
Check the threads ay YlliBklyn.com
Morgan Stanley: Opening Ceremony Sale
Thru Feb at 35 Howard St, between Broadway and Crosby; 212.219.2688
$100 off this boutique's eponymous line of jeans, Opening Ceremony Denim (AKA "OCD", really nice jeans that keep rearranging the pens on your desk).
More info at OpeningCeremony.us
Merrill Lynch: Seize Sur Vingt Sample Sale
Sat, Feb 9th thru Sun, Feb 17 at 267 Elizabeth St, between Houston and Prince 212.343.0007
Up to 70% off Egyptian cotton button-downs, Italian suits, tees, jackets, and assorted sundries from United Boroughs of New York and Troglodyte Homunculus -- whose gear's styled after British blue-collar workers from the 50s and 60s, but apparently named after Dudley Moore.
More info at 16sur20.com
Lehman Brothers: Armani Casa
Thru Feb 24 at 97 Greene St, between Prince and Spring 212.334.1271
Up to 65% off otherwise absurdly expensive furniture and accessories, e.g., couches, dining tables, armchairs, and other opulent furnishings on which to play the most opulent XBox titles.
Check the gear at ArmaniCasa.com
Goldman Sachs: Halcyon Jets
336 W 37th St, between 7th and 8th; 212.616.JETS
For the bonus recipient who's generosity outstrips all semblance of proportion, this $1.5M DreamDate gift package includes a roundtrip charter flight for two to any location, plus Clive Christian's Imperial Majesty perfume, Christian Louboutin Seequin Peep-Toe pumps, nine-piece Louis Vuitton Monogram Canvas luggage set, DreamSpa treatment, one bottle Krug champagne, a 75-carat diamond necklace from Tiffany, and a lifetime subscription to Rich Dickhead Quarterly.
More at HalcyonJets.com