Bear Mountain's Oktoberfest is legendary -- but since driving to a beer festival's a little too Yasmine Bleeth, and you firmly believe trains are for commoners, you'd assume there was no practical or dignified way to get there. There is, but only for the next two Saturdays: Circle Line's Bear Mountain Oktoberfest Cruise. This all-day boat excursion combines the magic of Oktoberfest with the majesty of the Hudson, a river that's as beautiful as it is easy to vomit in. Departure's at 9am, which sounds early, because it is; but there's a full bar that starts serving up fun the minute you board. The trip upriver takes around 2.5hours, and passes through wondrous fall foliage, past inspirational sites such as the Palisades and the Cloisters, and beneath the shower-humping shadow of Sing Sing prison*. The Circle Line drops you right at the Fest, which takes place in an open field and is bordered by a lake that, considering how much you'll consume, should be considered deadly. You'll then have two hours to chug beer, chug sausage, and lampoon jowly Germans as they do knee bends in green tights. There's a strong likelihood your inhuman Pilsner intake will land you lost in the woods of Bear Mountain State Park, but if you manage to reunite with The Circle Line, you'll be thrilled to find out that the bar's operational all the way back to Manhattan. The day ends when you float back to Pier 83 and stumble onto land, blustering about how you'll only travel by boat from now on -- before diving through the window of a passing cab.