From using Orbitz to reserve your flights, to assembling the Chumbawamba fan club via Evite, the Web's great for arranging day-to-day necessities -- but where's the Internet when you need to get elaborately blitzed? Fastidiously prepare your big stupid night, with Deluxe.

Like a roided-up Open Table for nightlife, just-launched Deluxe helps you schedule extravagant bacchanalias in popular and hard-to-get-into NY hot spots, all conceived and organized by crazy-connected club vets who're assuming their target audience can stop oontz oontzing long enough to use a keyboard. Start the pre-carousal by dropping your deets and event prefs (hood, venue, # of guests, etc), and Deluxe'll suggest real-time availability at popular spots (from enviro-blinged Greenhouse, to a Gossip Girly Butter), plus booze credits for bottle service, cocktails, and champagne, and furnish delivery grub like burgers from Pop Burger and brownies from Crumbs -- perfectly normal if you're a girl and it's your birthday, or you're a fat ass and it's Friday. For even crasser ostentation, Deluxe arranges for "Rockstar" amenities, e.g., limo service, lux whip rentals from Gotham Dream Cars, personal photogs, stylists, a diamond-encrusted birthday tiara, and personal bodyguards -- necessary, should you opt for the diamond-encrusted birthday tiara.

As a grand opening bonus, Deluxe is offering Thrillist readers a complimentary bottle of alcohol -- saving you enough cash to cover your whiskey drink, your vodka drink, your lager drink, and your cider drink.