There comes a point in every relationship where you must ask yourself "Is it worth it?" -- usually around the time she forgets the anniversary of your first kiss, again. Quit searching your feelings, and let science be the judge: GenePartner
Inspired by the famous "women smelling random dudes' t-shirts and saying who's sexy" experiment, GP's Couples DNA Test analyzes your and your partner's genetic makeup to determine compatibility -- like a super-advanced cootie-catcher, operated by Swiss men in lab coats. Take the plunge, and GP'll assign you and your lady unique GenePartnerIDs, and mail you two buccal swab kits to collect DNA from the inside of your mouths (and she says you never do anything together anymore). Return the kit and wait for notification (about four weeks), at which point GP'll give you a compatibility score based upon the differences in your DNA's human leukocyte antigens -- a fancy scientific term for "opposites attract", explaining why the love of your life doesn't agree that Coming Home in a Body Bag was the most accurate Vietnam movie ever
If for some shocking reason you're currently single, GP provides tests and GenePartnerIDs for bachelors, which you can use to screen potential mates -- though even the deepest genetic connection will be destroyed when you whisper, "I want to stick cotton swabs in your mouth."