Who among us doesn't relish the terrifying pleasure of going AWOL from the office? Trips to the rub'n'tug and four martini lunches can add excitement to an otherwise grueling day, but for an office escape that won't mean certain termination, try the Glenlivet City Links, the finest scotch-sponsored miniaturized Scottish golf course ever constructed on the ground level of the 7 Times Square building. Today thru October 12th, this 10,000-square foot installation will offer free adult-style mini-golf, steps from such pillars of the New York business community as Merrill Lynch, HBO, and Red Lobster. The diabolically elaborate 9-hole course features bridges, water and sand traps -- hazards which would frustrate you, if you weren't totally cranked up to be skipping your employer-mandated impulse management seminar. If a small-minded superior is standing in the way of you and your tee time, try one of these blatant lies:
- "I'm heading down to accounting to research the Trautman file." (good for a half hour)
- "My Egg McMuffin is reacting badly with my McGriddles. Be back in 10." (an hour)
- "I've got an appointment with my psychiatrist regarding night terrors." (2 hours)
Or try the honest approach:
- "I quit. Just kidding, but I am going to play golf." (the rest of your life)
The Glenlivet will be providing no booze during daytime play -- which is inexcusable but probably for the best, since easy access to premium scotch would make deftly slipping back into an ongoing strategy meeting far more problematic. Then again, if you're really in it for the terrifying pleasure, pack a flask, bust into the meeting reeking of scotch, then bluster about your handicap until security hauls you out by the blazer.