Lifestyle

Guyz Nite

Some bands are good precisely because they're incredibly bad. We've found the best of the worst: Guyz Nite, who'll be defiling Alphabet City this Saturday

Guyz Nite's stated mission's to "put the amp back in anthem". They're a barroom punk band plucked right off the set of an 80s Spring Break flick, decked out in athletic headbands, foam domes and holsters holding beers they're unafraid to drain onstage. Nite's singer's unceasing karate moves were obviously honed in front of a mirror, their "lead bassist" hates shirts, and their lyrics make Tenacious D sound like Cole Porter

GN's most musically ambitious number's "Cockblock", though they might've outdone themselves with the just-completed "Die Hard". Some other amp-thems to listen for

Meat Feast
"If tofu were infused with ham, I could be a tofu fan
The only vegetable I'll eat, is parsley garnish on my meat"

Dude
"Dude, do you have any more stoges?
I'm jonesing for a smoke and the deli is...closed"

Guyz Nite Theme
"We're gonna smoke and drink and eat and smoke and drink until we're drunk
And maybe later we're going to make some rock"

Because they've only played a few live shows, G&N can be inconsistent, and drunk ("When our guitarist isn't wasted, he can really shred") -- but when they're on, they're positively stupefying. So if you too enjoy drinking and smoking and eating and smoking and drinking, definitely check them out.