Hairy Mail

If you feel compelled to send out season's greetings yet can't abide Hallmark sentiment, try HairyMail, hopefully the only website that lets you Nair words onto a hirsute back, then deliver the image to the inbox of a strong-stomached loved one. The site's sponsored by smug anti-tobacconists, but it's worth using, especially if your own thatch hasn't grown back from your depilatory-etched "Merry Simchas Torah!" shout-out.